What Are Your Core Values?
Values matter. They are the guiding principals for our decisions.
I have always admired people who are rooted in clear personal values. Rather than being scatter-minded, those individuals have thought deeply about what they believe is important, and are able to align their thoughts and behaviors with their values.
In her book Dare to Lead, Brené Brown shares a list of +100 values. These values include family, making a difference, fun, learning, belonging, travel, time, balance, recognition, resourcefulness, wealth, legacy, and wisdom. Brené Brown defines values as “a way of being or believing that we hold most important”. For example, person A may value risk taking, while person B may value stability. The same person may value different things over the course of his or her lifetime. What matters is that we are clear about what is important to us at any given point, and are grounded and aligned to the values that we’ve identified for ourselves.
Brené Brown defines a value as:
“A way of being or believing that we hold most important. Living into our values means that we do more than profess our values, we practice them. We walk our talk - we are clear about what we believe and hold important, and we take care that our intentions, words, thoughts, and behaviors align with those beliefs”
Building on Brene Brown's work, psychologist Susan David has outlined key characteristics of personal values
Values are freely chosen
Values are ongoing, not fixed
Values should guide, rather than constrain us
Values foster self acceptance
Values bring freedom from social comparison
Values bring us closer to our preferred lifestyle
As I read through the list below, I felt that I value almost “everything”. However, I quickly came to see that if I value everything, then I’m not really driven by what matters to me. Over the past couple of weeks, I tried to push myself to identify and prioritize my top 5 values from the list below.
After much reflection, I came to see that the following list captures my top 5 values
Adventure: Curiosity, growth, exploration, learning, creativity, joy
Integrity: Authenticity, honesty, courage
Empowerment: Freedom, equality, respect
Gratitude
Connection: Empathy, Love, kindness, compassion, friendship, generosity
1). Adventure
I almost never regretted a decision where I felt I was embarking on a new adventure and thus growing personally or professionally. To me, adventure means being curious about myself and the world, letting myself explore and learn, and being creative. As I think about my life, the moments and experiences where I was adventurous are often accompanied by intense joy, creativity, growth and openness. For me, leaving Egypt at age 18 to come and study in the United States was an adventure, and a growth opportunity. Exploring different classes as an undergraduate student, and then traveling to Indonesia for a year was another meaningful adventure. Taking a job in tech for the first time brought a lot of growth with it. Quitting Google and trying the startup world was an adventure. Learning to be better with my parents and kinder to my partner. Scuba diving for the first time even though I did not learn to swim growing up. To me, though, adventure is about not letting fear rip me from the opportunity to grow and to experience all that life has to offer.
2). Integrity
To Brene Brown’s definition, “Integrity is choosing courage over comfort; choosing what is right over what is fun, fast, or easy; and choosing to practice our values rather than simply professing them”. That resonates deeply. To me, integrity is about speaking up when I feel something is not right or ethical, advocating for a more inclusive workplace, thinking proactively about equity in the products and teams I help build, holding myself and my team accountable when we do not practice what we preach. I truly admire leaders who have integrity, and who are ethical, honest, authentic and act on the values they profess.
3). Empowerment
Growing up, I always valued teachers and mentors who took the time to be kind to me and to create spaces where I felt empowered. A mentor/friend saw potential in me and was the first to encourage me to apply to universities in the US, and I owe my 11+ scholarships to his dedication to my empowerment. An undergraduate professor of mine was the reason I felt empowered to apply to the Rockefeller fellowship and spend a year travelling solo in Indonesia, which was one of the most fulfilling personal experiences. I am where I am today because of those who empower others, and it matters to me that my work and life choices create spaces where others feel empowered and are able to reach the best versions of themselves.
4. Gratitude
So much is broken in this world, but there is also much beauty. As an “achiever,” my brain tends to be stuck in the future with a long to-do list of options of things that I can/should do. Rather than thinking about the future, it matters to me to be grateful as a way to see today for what it is - a gift - and to not take the day, the people or the opportunities for granted. Gratitude helps me stay present and aware of all the opportunities and privileges that I have, as well as all the beauty in nature that I have access to. I am grateful for a list of endless things including my family, my husband, health, the ability to travel, and the simple luxury of being able to reflect right now.
5. Connection
Some relationships are truly a gift. There are friends and mentors who make me feel seen, valued and heard. There are friends and mentees of mine who I want to make sure I invest the time, energy and attention towards. These connections and interactions are nourishing and are truly unique. They are the underpinnings of friendships and of tight-knit communities. Connection requires authenticity, empathy and compassion. I am grateful for my friends and mentors and for all the people who have invested their time and intention in me - and I hope to honor this value and prioritize those relationships. I also hope that through my professional and personal life, I create spaces where people can be authentic and empathetic, and can truly connect with one another.
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In a world full of ambiguity, especially if you’re working in a fast-paced sector with so much change, having a set of core values can serve as your inner compass as to whether the life you’re currently living honors your core values, as well as whether you are consistent in creating spaces and environments that allow others to grow and practice their own values.
Now, it is your turn, what are your top five 5 values and why?